Saturday, 7 May 2011


Whether you’ve been together for months or years, it pays
to think about your relationship if you want it to last. . Photo/FILE
Every relationship starts off with such excitement. At first you hardly know one another, but then you fall in love and decide to spend your lives together. But will you be able to stick it out?
In the first flush of love, it’s hard to imagine being grandparents. But hopefully that’s where you’re going. Can you really imagine putting up with your partner for all those years?
If it was their status or looks that drew you together, how will you feel about them as they put on weight, gather wrinkles, sag a bit and lose their hair — or their job.
We always say it’s forever, but it’s not really that easy any more. In the past, there was a lot of social pressure to stay together.
Now it’s more about how much effort you’re prepared to put into making each other happy.
Maybe not a lot, in a world of independence, high expectations and instant gratification.
And what of more serious issues? Couples survive infidelity, even neglect, so long as they can solve their underlying problems calmly.
But you’re unlikely to grow old together if difficulties are never properly resolved.
So whether you’ve been together for months or years, it pays to think about your relationship if you want it to last.
Because we change as we mature and grow older. Hopefully you’re in a relationship that still brings you joy and inspires you.
But you mustn’t neglect it if you want it to stay on track. So ask yourself whether you’re happy.
And whether you’re the most important people in each other’s lives — you must be if your relationship’s to last.
How intimate are you? Intimacy means a lot more than what you do in bed. It means being able to discuss every issue without stress.
Everything from money to your deepest fears. When you first met you never stopped talking. What about now?
Assured and secure
Ask yourself what your relationship means to you. Are you proud of it? Does it make you feel self assured and secure? Or submissive and anxious?
And how about your sex life? You chose your partner because you desired each other. But as the years pass, priorities often change.
So is sex still an important part of your lives together? Do you talk about what you like doing in bed? Reminisce about the good times?
Discuss things that didn’t work? Explore misunderstandings? Are you still wild and passionate together?
Enjoy trying each other’s ideas and fantasies? Or is sex just a duty? 
And you need to constantly reassure each other. Being faithful isn’t just not sleeping with someone else, it’s continually re-affirming your love.
Accepting your partner for what they are and saying how much they mean to you.
Life’s all too short — so don’t settle for anything less than a good relationship, but really work at it when you find one!

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