HOW BIRTH ORDER AFFECTS YOUR ROMANTIC LIFE

By KEN. P MUNYUA, living@ke.nationmedia.com

You’ve probably felt that someone, perhaps even a sibling, always seems luckier than you in matters of love, right?

Well, while each of us is a unique individual, our birth order has a significant impact on our psychological make-up and attitudes towards romance.

Yet many people don’t give their birth position a thought when choosing a partner. Today, we look at the characteristics of children born in different positions in the family and how these characteristics influence their relationships.

Psychologists and marriage therapists recognise four main birth orders.

First borns

They are born managers and might end up even controlling their partners, if not careful.

Usually, a first born will have one or more of the following characteristics: be a natural leader, a high achiever, orderly, punctual, a know-it-all, bossy, highly responsible, and a pleaser of adults who obeys the rules.

A relationship thrives when both parties know what they want, but can be highly competitive if they’re not careful; it’s like having two CEOs running the same company.

Middle children

They are more sympathetic and think with their hearts more than their heads! If not checked, they get too emotional and this can be dangerous.
The middle child is flexible, generous, independent, secretive, easy going, social, a peacemaker who respects authority and a strong negotiator who might, nevertheless, feel that life is unfair.

This partner will go out of their way to make sure that the relationship works. However, in the process, they might end up forgetting about themselves.

Last borns
They are used to being taken care of by others. If they are not made aware of it, they can be selfish and expect to be taken care of, even in a relationship. However, they should also be able to take care of their partner.

For some reason, many people fear getting involved with last borns, who have the following traits: risk taker, outgoing, creative, self-centered, financially irresponsible, competitive, bored easily, likes to be pampered, and have a good sense of humor.

Only child

Like last borns, and perhaps even more so, they are the focus of their parents’ attention.

So it is advisable that they also learn to give instead of always taking.

They have the following traits: close to their parents, have self-control, are born leaders, mature, dependable, demanding, unforgiving, private, and sensitive.
So it is advisable to look at your birth position and, at the same time, study your partner’s traits in order to be in a position to relate well with them. This calls for humility, patience, and perseverance.

It should be a give-and-take situation, where both parties win.

Awareness is power, and when you are aware of your traits, you are better able to relate with your partner.

www.nation.co.ke (The writer is a counselling psychologist)